There is so much to do, but such little time. There was an unsettling peace after midterms were over, but that peace was short lived in the inevitable eyes of the future. Soon enough the urgency of finals seeped into the mental sores created by the intense study and stress of midterms. There is never a break long enough where the brain may rest in serene tranquility unscathed by stress or work. Although the work is intense and the days packed with hard work, the mind is heavily rewarded with knowledge and purpose. The mind can no longer rest idle for when it does, the mind begins to wither.

Many exams have been taken this semester, but many more still remain until Christmas break. The stress of studying perpetuates work and hinders procrastination, thus acting as a motivational force to get up and work. Worrying has no place in college for action replaces its allotted time. Hours in the library are converted into letter grades that assess retention, concept, and memory capabilities. Like computers we are installed with new programs and softwares through textbooks and courses. Then during the exam we are asked to retrieve them from the limited hard-drive space we have in our minds. There is no room for error or mistake here for my future is at stake.

The whole day the mind is being overloaded by numerous subjects, experiences, memories, and tasks. Soaking material from chemistry to biology, English to psychology, and computers to chemistry lab. Remembering to get groceries, people’s names, interacting, directions, and new unexpected experiences. The mind is alive and breathing when it is forced to work, retrieve, and retain vast mounds of information. The knowledge becomes stored as in a warehouse for future reference. Every line I read in a textbook changes the way I perceive life.

Every time I see a person walking no longer do I see a simple human being. Instead I see a trillion cells and the sheer miracle of life. I see a world of interaction between cells communicating and reproducing in infinite numbers. I see the probability of that person being alive as one in sixty four trillion as stated by the genetical probabilities of gamete fertilization. When I see the ocean out my dorm window, I now see trillions of hydrogen bonds constantly being broken and rejoined by the attractive polar forces of water. Everything changes as knowledge transforms the perception of life from the lens of our eyes. Thinking is no longer a task taken for granted, as I now visualize billions of neurons electrically carrying messages to different lobes in the brain. The processes are so advanced that it is impossible to realize the actual strength and beauty of just living. No computer created by man can even compare mildly to the advanced system of the human conscious and condition. The wiring of our minds, the sculpting of our frames, and the reactions of our cells are not put together by sheer material, but by living entities attracted by an infinite power and energy, God. The body in which we are given sanctity is a miracle to behold and realize. The might of God is so apparent.

As I lay in bed every night and try to go to sleep, I am stopped. Memories, experiences, and emotions take over my mind like a movie reel gone out of control. Childhood memories, present fears, people, life, the future, the past, and college all intertwine to create an unavoidable mental slide show. The imagery creates subtle emotional responses as the mind projects all sorts of thoughts in the dead silence of the night. I toss and turn in bed, and try to find the off switch in my mind, but I fail. I cannot stop my mind from running wild. All day I have been in control, because I have been forced to propel myself in the present moment to complete tasks of importance. However, during the night the mind finally takes over as I lay a prisoner to the rampant rants of my mind. I am no longer in control.

The next morning I awake to the annoying shriek of my alarm clock. Hitting the snooze button, I am oblivious to how the morning was ushered in so quickly, or how I managed to fall asleep through the minds disruptive unwinding. The dreams interrupted by the wailing alarm clock, are taken back with me into reality. I remember them for a short moment or two before sitting up right. Some are odd and most make no sense whatsoever, but I still would rather be there instead of here. In my reality, school starts again and the routine of being a premed student takes over another day. The stresses and studies of my life become real again and I move on. Until the night, I will continue working and ignoring my mind’s random invasions. Unfortnately, they soon will collect together and gain enough momentum just before I shut my eyes to sleep. I shall be a prisoner once again tonight.

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