As I sit here typing these words with my dorm window overlooking the Caribbean Sea, I must say this storm I brace myself for will not be broad-casted on CNN and it will not be riling the ocean’s merciless waves. Instead this storm is going to be a mental stirring of my emotions as they accumulate into fierce clouds of stress. Indeed, a fine test for my mental stamina. This week is saturated by premedical exams that would have once looked like old scare tactic lectures straight out of an average high school teacher’s playbook. However, this time it is a reality and a harbinger of what is to come in the further reaches of my studies in medicine. 

           The material is fascinating and I have so many feelings and insights about how it all makes me feel being a human, and knowing that there so many reactions occurring in each of my trillion cells every second. It is a monument to the complexity of life that we all we take for granted. An organized and intricate system so vast within each of us causing a mind boggling introspection within oneself, and it genuinely testifies to the great omnipresence of a higher infinite truth. A universal and infinite Being beyond comprehension fighting off entropy and disorder within even the smallest atomic particles of the universe. Knowing all of this is inspiring and humbling, but retaining every single process, biological name, and medical jargon gets overwhelming at times fading the majestic odds of our existence by a little bit of frustration and confusion.

          The electron microscope pictures of our cells resemble a foreign and vast galaxy in the the far depths of the universe, but it is within us all. The problem arises when one must memorize and retain everything. In the beginning I read in utter amazement, and then it turned into disbelief seeing the sheer volume I must comprehend and consume. However, the brain is a powerful tool and the information it can store is just another great testament to the might of conscious and intelligent life. I just hope I have been exercising my brain enough for it to function efficiently when the test finally comes in the multiple choice form of numerous data drenched chapters.

            I have been staying in the library for a good portion of the day when classes finally are over and the profesors have nothing more to say about their most important relative courses. I also have a chemistry test and a psychology test coming this week before the biology one. I am aiming to get the highest grade and expectation can excel one’s stress and multiply it into a compiling hoard of fear and frustration, but I try to see my workload as a learner, a Sikh, trying to learn the physical form of the miracle called life, so one day I can apply my limited knowledge to help other people who are in pain and anguish. 

           Mediation and listening to the five banis and kirtan keep me moving in the right direction with the bigger meaning of life always by my side. The purpose of my life seems to be straight down the path I am venturing, and that feeling of belonging and knowing one’s purpose is a great aid in times of doubt and stress. Waheguru gives me the power to be, learn, and overcome even the biggest challenges. The ambrosial nectar in every Kirtan and every line of the Shabad instills a strong foundation of humanity, love, and a peaceful existence in my soul. Although the clouds may thunder in my head with stress and the waves of my anger and frustration may be crashing on the surface of my mind, I find peace beneath the water where it is peaceful as I forever sit serenely drenched in the light of Waheguru and his forever forgiving mercy.

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